sitting by the bathroom in a restaurant
if you’re the closest table to the bathroom in a restaurant, chances that you’ll be crop-dusted are much higher than in other areas of the dining room.
you know how it doesn’t get truly urgent until you get close to the the porcelain savior because your mind sends signals that the suffering will soon be over, and pressure just starts to release? well, sitting closest to the promised land that dude who had too many hot wings’ scurrying by (whose caboose happens to be nose level to you) is going to guarantee that frequency of aerosol clues popping up is going to be highest when he passes your table.
i know sometimes the wait is long and all you want to do is sit and start eating, but if this is the only table available and they ask you to take it yeah… just don’t.
